What are you going to be when you grow up?

When I grow up I’m going to be a dancer! I might be the most amazing ballerina, the most gracious, and the prettiest. I might be able to fill any place with beauty, drawing all the attention when I do my choreographies. People are going to be enchanted with my moves, and they are going to cheer as I bow. I might even become a ballet teacher later on, transforming little princess in splendid ballerinas.

Actually, I want to be an actress. I could be anything I wanted, a different character in each movie. Travel places I’ve never seen before, better yet, maybe be in a love story with one of the most handsome Hollywood actors. Wear the coolest clothes and look always stunning. I think this is what I want! I want to live in Hollywood; I want to live the dream!

Thinking a little bit better, I can have almost everything being a pop singer! I love to sing and I think I might even have some talented voice. How amazing would be to have thousands of people in my concert, MY concert, MY fans singing with me. Make video clips, travel around the world, I could even get a shot in a movie, a musical or something. That’s it! I’m sure!

I don’t know… I always wanted to help people somehow. Maybe I want to be a children therapist. Wouldn’t be great to help kids having trouble with something or even themselves? I might make a big difference in somebody’s life! Can you imagine how many kids I could help? How many kids I could make their lives better? My help can change the rest of their lives! Wow! Now that’s amazing!

What about passion? Shouldn’t I do something that I’m very passionate about when I grow up? I could use my volleyball skills! I should be able to use my passion for the sport in some way, coach a good team, teach a camp, or maybe be a gym teacher. Somehow use it. I miss hearing the whole court screaming after aces, great spikes and serves.

So many things I could do when I grow up, so many ways to go. What do I have to do to have one of those things going? What can I do to be one of those things when I grow up? I guess I know what I need to do… I might have to become a child again and start all over, because now I’m just a grown up that haven’t gotten anywhere and lives dreaming about getting somewhere.

Love, Secrets, Lies...

Somehow some people think that their lies are never going to be discovered. Nevertheless, besides fooling other people, they are fooling themselves. In the end, at least in theory, everybody knows the truth always appears. It has those who say they lied to protect somebody. Others might say it was the fear of losing something or somebody. There’re people whom just don’t know how to live reality. Some get addicted, others may think is fun.

What kind of protection can somebody offer with a lie? Maybe the person was protecting herself/himself, maybe she/he was the one not prepared to share the truth. To be able to protect somebody or something you have to love. It’s all about love. With no love, there’s no protection, there’s no respect and much less trust.

Dishonesty with the people that you love is already a lost. What do you think is going to happen once this beloved person discover? I bet just like you, she/he would have loved you to be sincere to her/him. Yes, the liar has the risk of telling the truth and the other person never looking to her/his face again. But it’s a risk that should be taken. Sooner or later it’s going to happen, and will feel good having a clean conscience. Mistakes happen, and the consequences are going to come, the best thing to do is accepting the consequences and working on it.

Living a fairy tale must be awesome. But must be very hurtful to be forced to wake up and see reality. Even worst must be noticing all the time wasted, and that instead of dreaming, this person should be working on how to live that dream. Once the cycle of friendship and truth are broken everything is lost. Lies are just not a big enough of a blanket.

Jan-09

Everything will change, love remains the same

Why do people change? I go around and around and I just can’t find the answer. I mean, I understand the good changes, I think anybody would. We all here struggling, living, and trying to be better people after all. Some even believe that this is the mainly purpose we are here for, to improve ourselves, elevate our level, spiritually talking. Supposing that everybody once was in a situation where somebody was nice and ‘’became’’ bad. Would be correct to say that everybody once asked themselves which one of them he/she really is. Did he/she changed to worst or he/she was never nice at all?

Lots of examples can be set. Compare beginnings of relationship and endings. At some point people don’t make sense at all. They contradict themselves, say that love and care but act like they don’t give a damn, sometimes even say hurtful things like it was the sweetest ones they’ve ever said.

I’m not talking about types of behaviors. Like the case I cited above, he was always a jerk, it’s clear. Cases like: ‘’ after we got married he became a total loser, doesn’t help on anything’’. No! he was always a loser, he never helped anything. Most of the cases the other person was the one that used to accept those behaviors and now she just doesn’t.

I’m talking about those cases where you find yourself thinking if he/she ever felt any love.

That person that said “I love you” but never fought for your love, that person that said you were the one but didn’t ask you to stay when you were walking out the door for something that he/she said or did. That person you spent so much time with, you cared and loved. I’m talking about those people that made you believe in their love and suddenly treat you like nothing. Did he/she ever felt any? Can people change to worst? Can love suddenly change?

Jan-09

New Year's Wish

The New Year came and so far nothing really interesting happened nothing changed. Somehow I still have the feeling that things are going to turn around. Something good is coming my way. I see so many moments of laugh and so much love that is still to come. I also see people leaving. As always, I’m staying. One way or another, sadly, I’m feeling used to this. I’m already used to this taste that I’ve tasted for so long; I’ve been always missing something or somebody or actually so many things and so many people. I feel a heartbeat, it’s like little by little it’s coming back again. A heart full of scars nevertheless stronger than ever. Something good is coming. That doesn’t mean no tears, I understand that it doesn’t mean no pain. I feel hope again and as some other four letters word, I thought it was gone. I fell calm, and maybe things are not going to change as fast as I expect. Maybe things are not changed at all once I open my eyes. Although, the positivism is filling me again, I’m embracing being, as I always was, a dreamer.

Jan 09